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Things they should tell you about having a baby #3

Tuesday, 21 June 2011  |  Admin

I think we're edging further and further into 'too much information' territory here but I'm going to plough on regardless. We've covered off breastfeeding and jelly bellies but this time I'm thinking more about the birth itself and your poor nether regions.

Call it what you will, there's no denying that your vagina (noo-noo in our house!) will never be the same after birth. (Why do you think Tena lady pads sit right alongside maternity towels in the supermarket?)
After my eldest son was born by forceps with the accompanying episiotomy I literally couldn't sit down for a week. Pain from my stitches was SO much worse than labour and only industrial strength paracetamol helped, plus baths with lots of salty water which stings like a bugger but apparently it helps heal quicker.
I made the mistake of checking out the damage about 4 weeks post birth and was horrified by what I saw. 'That can't be normal' I thought in my naivety, so I mentioned it to my Doctor at the 6 week check. Unfortunately he confirmed that it was normal and that I should 'keep doing my pelvic floor exercises' by stopping weeing mid-flow.
But gradually it did get back to normality of a type, only to be punished again by delivering children no 2, 3 & 4. This time round my noo-noo was able to squeeze said children out without artifical help and without tearing, possibly because I was able to have the water birth that I had so wanted first time round. What a delight to be able to sit down without flinching! Or maybe things were just that bit slacker down there!
Whatever the reason, there's still a penalty to pay. I have to be really careful when I'm exercising (star jumps are the worst) in case there's any leakage....yuck!
I know now why my Nanny had mahoosive knickers with long pads in them and have no wish to aspire to the same. Not a good look under your jeans methinks. So I've put a little note 'PELVIC FLOOR' on the car steering wheel to remind me to exercise those little internal muscles which are so key in many aspects of your life. So if you see me driving along making strange faces, you'll know why.

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At Cheeky Wipes, we're used to talking bodily functions, whether that's nappy changing, adult bum wiping, periods, we're not prudish.

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